In 1969, an 11-year-old Michael Jackson made a decision that would change not only his life but the life of the therapist hired to help him. Sarah Martinez, a fresh-faced psychologist, was brought in by Motown Records to work with the young star. But after just four sessions, Michael fired her. What seemed like a professional failure became the foundation for a groundbreaking approach to child psychology that has since helped thousands of children around the world.

Sarah Martinez was 28 years old when she received the call from Motown Records. They wanted her to work with Michael Jackson, the young lead of the Jackson 5, who was reportedly struggling with stress. Excited by the opportunity, Sarah didn’t realize how complex the situation would be until she met Michael in person.

When Sarah first greeted Michael, she was struck by his demeanor. Despite being only 11, his eyes carried the weight of someone far older. Her attempts to engage him were met with resistance. “Are you one of them, too?” Michael asked. When Sarah questioned what he meant, his response was chilling: “The adults who tell me what I have to do.”

During their sessions, Michael revealed the depth of his unhappiness. He didn’t know what happiness was. He didn’t know what it was like to say no. He didn’t even know who he wanted to be, because no one had ever asked him.

By the fourth session, Michael was no longer the hesitant child Sarah had first met. He was confident, even defiant. “Dr. Sarah, I’ve been thinking,” he said. “You’re just like everyone else. You want to change me.”

Sarah tried to explain that she wasn’t trying to change him, but to help him see his worth. Michael’s response was devastating: “What if my job isn’t to be happy? What if my job is to make others happy?”

In that moment, Sarah realized the enormity of Michael’s burden. He wasn’t just a child. He was a performer, a provider, and a figure carrying the expectations of millions. And he had already accepted that his happiness was secondary to everyone else’s.

Hours after their final session, Sarah received a call from Motown. Michael had requested that the therapy sessions be discontinued.

For years, Sarah questioned her role in Michael’s life. Had she failed him? Had she misunderstood what he needed? The experience haunted her, but it also drove her to find answers.

Six years later, Sarah met another child performer, Tommy Rodriguez, who echoed Michael’s words: “I can’t say no. If I say no, everyone gets angry.” It was then that Sarah realized her mistake with Michael. She had tried to give him permission to be happy, but she hadn’t given him the tools to achieve it within his circumstances.

This revelation led Sarah to develop a new approach to child psychology, which she called “compartmental resilience.” Instead of trying to change a child’s circumstances, she taught them how to protect their inner selves while navigating difficult realities.

In 1978, Sarah founded the Children First Institute, an organization dedicated to helping children in high-pressure environments. Over the years, her methods revolutionized child psychology, helping over 50,000 children worldwide.

Sarah’s approach was inspired entirely by her experience with Michael Jackson. “Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for a child isn’t to rescue them,” she explained, “but to give them the tools to rescue themselves.”

In June 2009, just weeks before his death, Michael Jackson sent Sarah a letter. In it, he thanked her for planting a seed of hope during their sessions. “You taught me it’s okay to want happiness,” he wrote. “Even though I couldn’t accept it then, that lesson got me through dark times.”

Enclosed with the letter was a donation of $1 million to the Children First Institute. Sarah used the funds to establish the Michael Jackson Center for Child Performers, ensuring that his legacy would continue to protect children facing the same pressures he had endured.

Sarah Martinez’s experience with Michael Jackson was a failure that became her greatest success. It taught her that sometimes, the children who reject our help are the ones who inspire us to help others.

Today, the Children First Institute operates in 25 countries, helping thousands of children find their voice. And every year on Michael’s birthday, Sarah reminds her students of the boy who taught her the most important lesson of her career: “Sometimes, the most important thing you can give a child isn’t solutions—it’s permission to have feelings about their problems.”